


The Avenger

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29561196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Starsky and Hutch search for a man who is stalking his ex-girlfriend and killing her dates.
Kudos: 1
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	The Avenger


    THE AVENGER
    
    Season 4, Episode 7
    
    Original Airdate: October 31, 1978
    
    Written by: Robert E. Swanson
    Staff Writer: Robert Dellinger
    Created by: William Blinn
    Directed by: Sutton Roley
    
    Summary: Starsky and Hutch search for a man who is stalking his ex-girlfriend and killing her dates. 
    
    Cast: 

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

Joanna Cassidy ... Monique Travers

Tim Thomerson ... Phil

Michael DeLano ... Roger

Hildy Brooks ... Bobbie

Charles Cyphers ... Medical Examiner Delaney

G.W. Bailey ... Hotel Clerk

Suzanne Kent ... Girl in Disco

Marki Bey ... Officer Minnie Kaplan

Steve Mayne ... Barman

Unknown ... Harry Ashford

**Interior - Night - The Cellar Disco**
    
    
    PHIL: It's an overhead cam eight with four-barrel carbs. Thing corners like a dream.
    
    TRAVERS: Sounds nice. You own it or lease it?
    
    PHIL: Hmph. Who wants to tie his money up in a car? I'm thinking about buying a condominium.
    
    TRAVERS: I'm not much interested in cars.
    
    PHIL: What are you interested in, uh...? Monique, isn't it?
    
    TRAVERS: Organic foods.
    
    PHIL: Your body's a temple, right?
    
    TRAVERS: That's right.
    
    PHIL: You got great eyes.
    
    TRAVERS: Thank you.
    
    PHIL: Wanna get outta here?
    
    TRAVERS: What'd you say your name was?
    
    PHIL: Phil.
    
    TRAVERS: Okay.
    
    PHIL: Your place or mine?
    
    TRAVERS: My place is about eight blocks--
    
    PHIL: Your place.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - The Pits**
    
    STARSKY: How could I blow that shot?
    
    HUGGY: I was about to ask the same question. Sorry, my man.
    
    HUTCH: Don't be sorry for him.
    
    HUGGY: I'm not sorry for him. I'm sorry I didn't put some bread down against the chump.
    
    STARSKY: Huggy, you are supposed to be the impartial judge.
    
    HUGGY: I'm impartial to being poor. How 'bout that, Starsky?
    
    HUTCH: Well, if you two poverty cases would kindly step aside while a man after a little bit of wealth takes a shot at that ten ball in the corner pocket. What's the score on that one, Huggy, hmmm?
    
    HUGGY: The score be looking like Starsky loses.
    
    STARSKY: I don't know how it's possible.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I do.
    
    STARSKY: I'm twice as good as you any six out of seven days.
    
    HUTCH: Well, just call it a seventh-day miracle. I knew I had you. Just put it down there. That's fine. Here, read that and weep.
    
    STARSKY: What is it?
    
    HUTCH: Well, I plugged your birthday into this astrological bio-rhythm calculator.
    
    STARSKY: My what?
    
    HUTCH: Your birthday. You're in bad shape. You're in what we commonly call a triple-zero phase. Your mental, your physical, your emotional state is on a downward plunge that's put you at about a zero level. I don't know how you got out of bed this morning.
    
    HUGGY: Starsk, the way you played, I'd start to believe it if I were you.
    
    STARSKY: That means that you won money from me under a false pretense, and I am gonna thank you to take it right back.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    PHIL: What time is it?
    
    TRAVERS: It's not late. Am I gonna see you again?
    
    PHIL: Yeah, I guess. If you want to.
    
    TRAVERS: Will you call me sometime?
    
    PHIL: Yeah, I'll call.
    
    TRAVERS: Promise?
    
    PHIL: Come on, I'll call. And no strings, okay?
    
    TRAVERS: Okay. How about some herb tea?
    
    PHIL: Yeah, why not? How long will it take?
    
    TRAVERS: Just a few minutes.
    
    PHIL: Okay, but hurry up, okay? Because, like, I gotta be up early tomorrow.
    
    ASHFORD: At it again, huh?
    
    TRAVERS: Harry.
    
    ASHFORD: Yes, Monique.
    
    TRAVERS: You've gotta leave me alone.
    
    ASHFORD: I'm never gonna leave you alone.
    
    TRAVERS: You've gotta stop doing this.
    
    ASHFORD: I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. You. You. You. You! You!
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    DELANEY: Pending an autopsy, I'd say the cause of death was multiple stab wounds. I tried counting 'em, but I ran out of fingers.
    
    STARSKY: What kind of weapon?
    
    DELANEY: A sharp-bladed instrument.
    
    STARSKY: Come on, Russ, give me a break. Was it a butter knife, a letter opener or a bayonet?
    
    DELANEY: As you can see, it was larger than a penknife and smaller than a sword.
    
    STARSKY: What else you got?
    
    HUTCH: Assailant was smaller than the victim. Probably right-handed and crazy as hell. 
    
    DELANEY: I can't confirm that till I get him on the slab. Are you moonlighting for the coroner's office?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, no, no. My contract wouldn't allow that.
    
    DELANEY: Now, that's a relief. Sign.
    
    STARSKY: Keep raining on the witch doctor's parade, he's gonna turn you into a frog.
    
    HUTCH: No big deal. Knife wounds are on the left side, which means the attacker's right-handed. Angle of entry is pretty well straight on. Now, if the victim were smaller than the assailant, the knife wounds would be at a downward angle, wouldn't they?
    
    STARSKY: Let's hear it for Sherlock Holmes.
    
    HUTCH: Lead on, Watson. You feeling better, miss?
    
    TRAVERS: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: Mind if we ask you a few questions?
    
    TRAVERS: I guess not.
     
    STARSKY: Well, we understand that, uh... you were in the bathroom when this happened?
    
    TRAVERS: Yeah, I, uh-- I saw him run out the front door.
    
    HUTCH: Can you describe him?
    
    TRAVERS: Uh, dark hair. I guess he's about your age, glasses. Harry's eyes are strange, cold.
    
    STARSKY: Harry?
    
    TRAVERS: Harry Ashford. He's done it again.
    
    HUTCH: Done what again?
    
    TRAVERS: About six months ago, in San Francisco. It was just like tonight. I, uh-- I met this man, and we went back to my apartment. And then Harry burst through the front door with a knife. It was just awful. It was the same as this.
    
    STARSKY: This Harry Ashford, is he your, uh, boyfriend, your ex-husband?
    
    TRAVERS: No, no. I only met him one time, and he formed this crazy attachment to me.
    
    STARSKY: They arrest him?
    
    TRAVERS: No, he disappeared after that night in San Francisco. You see, I don't think his real name is Harry Ashford because the San Francisco police couldn't find a record on him.
    
    HUTCH: So the last time that you saw Harry Ashford was that night in San Francisco?
    
    TRAVERS: About a week ago... I found this. It was in a book that-- that I've been reading, and I've had the book for a long time, you see. So I didn't know whether he put it in there up in San Francisco, or-- or whether he--
    
    STARSKY: What does that mean, "Have to stop you"?
    
    HUTCH: From what?
    
    TRAVERS: He's talking about the other men.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Dobey's Office**
    
    DOBEY: Did you read the San Francisco file on Harry Ashford?
    
    HUTCH: What's to read, Captain?
    
    STARSKY: There's no photo, no rap sheet. Just a composite drawing, which matches the description the Travers girl gave this morning.
    
    DOBEY: Where's the Travers girl now?
    
    HUTCH: She's across town at her sister's.
    
    DOBEY: Her sister know anything?
    
    STARSKY: Nothing.
    
    DOBEY: Delaney get any prints off this note she found?
    
    HUTCH: Not a thing. Looks like a piece of hotel stationery with the address heading torn off.
    
    Hey, what's that right there?
    
    STARSKY: Last half of a zip code. Strictly skid row.
    
    DOBEY: Suppose you get down to strictly skid row.
    
    STARSKY: Captain, you have any idea how many hotels there are in that sewer?
    
    DOBEY: Count 'em.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Seedy Hotel**
    
    DESK CLERK: What's the matter? My Rolls-Royce parked at an expired meter?
    
    STARSKY: Be nice.
    
    HUTCH: You ever seen this guy?
    
    DESK CLERK: No.
    
    STARSKY: Don't be bashful. Look at it.
    
    DESK CLERK: Never seen him.
    
    HUTCH: Name's Harry Ashford.
    
    DESK CLERK: Never heard of him.
    
    HUTCH: Well, would you mind, uh...? Would you mind checking your registration files? Ashford, Harry. 
    
    DESK CLERK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Room 211.
    
    STARSKY: Why'd you say you'd never seen him?
    
    CLERK: Look, I've only had this job for three days. He hasn't been in since I've been here, I swear. 
    
    HUTCH: Well, the rent's a week overdue. 
    
    DESK CLERK: I told you, he ain't been in. Here, here, you can check for yourself. Here, here.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Room 211**
    
    HUTCH: Starsky.
    
    STARSKY: Well, either he's moved out, or he likes his newspapers a week old.
    
    HUTCH: Well, maybe this time we can get some prints. Here, you wanna hold this?
    
    STARSKY: I think we might have a sample of his raven locks.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah?
    
    STARSKY: What are you doing?
    
    HUTCH: I'm gonna call Monique. Make sure she's all right. (on phone) Yeah, hello, Bobbie? Is your sister there? I'd like to speak to her. What?  well, where'd she go? Thanks. (end) 
    
    STARSKY: What's the matter?
    
    HUTCH: She split.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Bobbie's House**
    
    BOBBIE: I don't understand. I don't know why she does these things.
    
    HUTCH: Do you have any idea where she might've gone?
    
    BOBBIE: She probably went to a place where there are lots of men.
    
    STARSKY: Anything more specific?
    
    BOBBIE: Well, you know those clubs and places around-- Oh, wait a minute. You know, she left something on her night table. A- a book of matches. I think it's from one of those places, you know?
    
    HUTCH: "The Cellar."
    
    
    **Interior - Night - The Cellar Disco**
    
    ROGER: The tape was running about 10 minutes behind the action on the floor. Twenty-six million shares. I was putting my people through chemicals and leisures like no tomorrow.
    
    TRAVERS: Do you always talk so much?
    
    ROGER: Not when there's something interesting to do. And you're interesting.
    
    TRAVERS: You seem very nice too.
    
    ROGER: I can be fascinating. Well?
    
    TRAVERS: Well, what?
    
    ROGER: Well, are we just gonna sit around here all night and make small talk?
    
    TRAVERS: Well, what are you suggesting?
    
    ROGER: Well, you'd love my hot tub, but I'm afraid my place is all the way out at the beach.
    
    TRAVERS: Well, my place is in the neighborhood, but--
    
    ROGER: I've always loved this neighborhood.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    TRAVERS: Just because you picked me up--
    
    ROGER: I picked you up? Damn it. I thought it was the other way around. What do you want? An engagement ring?
    
    TRAVERS: I don't want you to think--
    
    ROGER: You're terrific, okay. You're terrific. 
    
    TRAVERS: Then just show me some respect.
    
    ROGER: Listen, uh, uh...
    
    TRAVERS: Monique. The name's Monique, Roger.
    
    ROGER: What's the matter?
    
    TRAVERS: Nothing. I-I thought I heard something. It's nothing.
    
    ROGER: Listen, will you make me a cup of coffee at least while I finish getting dressed?
    
    
    **Interior - Night - The Cellar Disco**
    
    STARSKY: Uh, you know a girl by the name of Monique Travers?
    
    BARTENDER: I ring up drinks. I don't take names.
    
    HUTCH: She's a girl about that tall, reddish-brown hair.
    
    BARTENDER: Well, that cuts out at least half the population.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, right. Look, she may be in some trouble. Her sister said she may have come in here.
    
    STARSKY: Look, she's a girl about that tall with reddish-brown hair.
    
    HUTCH: I already told him that.
    
    STARSKY: Oh. Well, she wears a medallion, you know, a, uh-- a zodiac around her neck.
    
    BARTENDER: Oh, yeah, yeah. She was just in here.
    
    HUTCH: Was she alone?
    
    BARTENDER: Like always, she comes in alone, she leaves with some guy.
    
    STARSKY: How long ago?
    
    BARTENDER: Half-hour, 40 minutes.
    
    STARSKY: Well, look, did they say anything? You know, like where they were going?
    
    BARTENDER: Same place everybody's going.
    
    HUTCH: Where's that? 
    
    BARTENDER: Where else? The sack.
    
    HUTCH: Thanks.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    ASHFORD: Monique.
    
    TRAVERS: Harry, not again. Please, no more.
    
    ASHFORD: Let me in.
    
    TRAVERS: Harry, no more.
    
    ASHFORD: Let me in.
    
    TRAVERS: Harry, please. I'll-I'll never do it again. I'll get rid of him. I'll get rid of him, okay?
    
    ASHFORD: You're trash, Monique. He doesn't respect you. You're defiled. You're defiled. Take off that robe. Take it off.
    
    TRAVERS: I don't want to. No.
    
    ASHFORD: Take it off!
    
    ROGER: I need this like I need another leg, boy. Lot of aggravation just for one night with one woman.
    
    ASHFORD: You. You. You. You. You!
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Police Precinct**
    
    TRAVERS: Come on, we've been through all this three times. There just isn't anything else I can tell you about it.
    
    HUTCH: Maybe you could tell us why you left your sister's house.
    
    TRAVERS: Well, I stopped at a bar to get a drink 'cause I wanted to talk to somebody.
    
    HUTCH: Uh-huh.
    
    TRAVERS: I was trying to forget the whole bad trip and there was this guy who started talking to me. And he was kind of attractive, and I... Well, you know. Well, is there a law against that?
    
    STARSKY: No. Weren't you afraid to go home?
    
    TRAVERS: No. Well, a little bit. His place was all the way out at the beach. and you can forget my sister's place. I really didn't think Harry would come back.
    
    HUTCH: (on phone) Hutchinson. Yeah. (end) Dobey.
    
    STARSKY: Don't go away this time, huh?
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Dobey's Office**
    
    DOBEY: What's going on here? Two murders in three nights, and we got zip. Put her back in circulation.
    
    HUTCH: Bait?
    
    DOBEY: Why not?
    
    STARSKY: You mean send her out to pick up other guys?
    
    DOBEY: No, one of you two guys.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, well, uh...
    
    STARSKY: Okay, me.
    
    HUTCH: Why you? What's the matter with me?
    
    STARSKY: Well, you're an at-home-in-front-of-the-fire type of guy. What this job calls for is a little flair, a little charisma.
    
    HUTCH: That's what I mean, why you?
    
    DOBEY: All right, knock it off. Starsky spoke first, so he's in. Maybe you can make this Harry guy jealous.
    
    HUTCH: You really think you can make him jealous?
    
    STARSKY: Why not?
    
    HUTCH: Well, the guy may be crazy, but he's not stupid.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - The Cellar Disco**
    
    WOMAN: Hey, blondie. Wanna dance? 
    
    HUTCH: Sorry, love, I got a bad back.
    
    WOMAN: So does the guy I was with last night.
    
    HUTCH: I'll bet he does.
    
    STARSKY: Seen anybody that looks like our friend Harry?
    
    HUTCH: No, but I've seen a couple of cockroaches that bear a vague resemblance.
    
    STARSKY: Why don't you go home, get some sleep.
    
    HUTCH: And leave you here with your bio-rhythms down?
    
    STARSKY: We've been here for three nights. Nothing's happened. Somebody's gotta get some sleep.
    
    HUTCH: Well, you slept all day.
    
    STARSKY: That's my job, to work the night shift.
    
    HUTCH: Which one is it?
    
    STARSKY: You're getting a little fuzzy around the edges. Look, go home. You're probably gonna scare the guy off anyway.
    
    HUTCH: Okay. I'll go home and zonk out.
    
    STARSKY: Mm-hm.
    
    HUTCH: Least I know what to get you for your birthday.
    
    STARSKY: What's that?
    
    HUTCH: Dance lessons.
    
    TRAVERS: You know, I think you're really nice, Starsky.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    TRAVERS: Where's Hutch?
    
    STARSKY: I sent him home.
    
    TRAVERS: Do you like me?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, I like you.
    
    TRAVERS: Boy. You know, I'd like to get to know you better.
    
    STARSKY: Well... under different circumstances... maybe. Okay?
    
    TRAVERS: I think I'd like to go home.
    
    STARSKY: Okay.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Squad Room**
    
    HUTCH: Wine's for aging, Taggart, not coffee.
    
    JONES: (on phone) Desk Sergeant Jones.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I was hoping to get, uh, Delaney in the lab.
    
    JONES: Lab's closed. It's past midnight.
    
    HUTCH: I know what time it is. There's gotta be somebody there. I'll hold.
    
    JONES: You should call back in the morning.
    
    HUTCH: This is Hutchinson. I sent a piece of glass and some human hair down there for lab analysis.
    
    JONES: Hold on, I'll ring.
    
    KAPLAN: Hiyah! Yah! Lab.
    
    HUTCH: What's going on down there? Is somebody dying?
    
    KAPLAN: No. That's my kung fu disco record. I'm dancing my way to self-defense.
    
    HUTCH: Well, could you dance your way over to the file and pick out requisition number five-eight, uh--? Five-eight-three-four.
    
    KAPLAN: Five-eight-three-four. Hold on a sec. Okay, here it is. Seems as if the CII, they have no record of any fingerprints. And the saliva analysis from the glass reads blood type A.
    
    HUTCH: Anything else?
    
    KAPLAN: Well, Delaney has a note here. It says the saliva and the hair are probably from the same woman.
    
    HUTCH: Woman? There's gotta be some kind of mistake.
    
    KAPLAN: No, sir. I'm looking at it right here. Says female, Caucasian.
    
    HUTCH: Thanks.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    TRAVERS: Let's go sit down. Okay?
    
    STARSKY: Okay.
    
    TRAVERS: I hope you like chamomile tea.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you. 
    
    TRAVERS: Yeah. 
    
    STARSKY: It's good.
    
    TRAVERS: Sit down, David.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you. It's getting warm in here. Maybe it's the tea. I think I'll take my jacket off.
    
    TRAVERS: Do you sleep with that on?
    
    STARSKY: Not always. I guess if Harry's playing Peekaboo at the window, I'd better be out of uniform.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Squad Room**
    
    HUTCH: A woman?
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    TRAVERS: When the job is over, maybe you'll ask me out to dinner because you want to, and not because you have to, huh?
    
    STARSKY: Maybe. Just where did you meet this Harry?
    
    TRAVERS: I'd rather not talk about him.
    
    STARSKY: I think you should. Did you meet him in a bar?
    
    TRAVERS: I told you before. I avoided him, but he just kept after me, and I-- Look, if you don't mind, I'd rather change the--
    
    STARSKY: It's weird. You hardly know him, and he's so hung up on you he thinks he owns you.
    
    TRAVERS: He's not like other men.
    
    STARSKY: In what way?
    
    TRAVERS: I'm gonna get some more tea.
    
    ASHFORD: He's gonna find out about me, Monique.
    
    TRAVERS: No, please. I'll send him away. He doesn't want to--
    
    ASHFORD: They all want to. You've got to be careful with this one. Don't give him the chamomile. Give him some of the other tea. Not the chamomile. Give him the other. The other, Monique.
    
    STARSKY: (sings unknown song)
     
    Sittin' up here, 
    wondering why  
    
    The blue out there, 
    the sun and the sky  
    
    Lookin' at all you
    the people way down there  
    
    Playin' in the water, 
    the sun and the sea  
    
    And I say  
    
    It's just another day  
    
    Yeah I say  
    
    It's just another day...
    
    TRAVERS: That was beautiful, David. Really beautiful. 
    
    STARSKY: How you feeling now? 
    
    TRAVERS: More tea?
    
    STARSKY: Thank you. What kind of tea is this?
    
    TRAVERS: Chamomile. And some of my special spices.
    
    STARSKY: Hm. Tell me more about Harry.
    
    TRAVERS: Do I have to?
    
    STARSKY: No. But it might help.
    
    TRAVERS: You're different.
    
    STARSKY: From whom?
    
    TRAVERS: Most men.
    
    STARSKY: Maybe. Harry?
    
    TRAVERS: Okay. We met outside a bar in San Francisco. It was closing time, and I'd had a very bad experience that day. Actually, it was the first time I had ever been to a bar.
    
    STARSKY: A man?
    
    TRAVERS: The man I was engaged to, we broke up. Harry helped me get through it.
    
    STARSKY: I thought you only saw Harry once.
    
    TRAVERS: I did. We talked all night. We walked around the empty city and talked to dawn. 
    
    STARSKY: Well, he must've told you something about himself.
    
    TRAVERS: No, he told me about myself. My past, my weaknesses, all the men I've known. Harry hates them all. Sometimes I think Harry hates me.
    
    STARSKY: Why would he?
    
    TRAVERS: Because of the person I am. Because of the things I do. He has such impossible standards for girls. He must really despise me.
    
    STARSKY: Then why hasn't he turned against you?
    
    TRAVERS: Because he loves me, too. Don't you understand? He protects my honor from all the men.
    
    STARSKY: I'm sorry, I...
    
    TRAVERS: I'll get a cloth to clean it up. Harry, you out there?
    
    ASHFORD: I'm in here now. In a few minutes, he'll be completely disoriented.
    
    TRAVERS: He's different. Harry, he's really different.
    
    ASHFORD: He knows about me.
    
    TRAVERS: I tell you, he's different.
    
    ASHFORD: He knows about me. He knows about me! Now, get a cloth and watch him till it's time. And get back out here. Now.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Squad Room**
    
    HUTCH: Bobbie? Sister.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    STARSKY: Hutchinson. Call my partner. Hutchinson.
    
    ASHFORD: It's time. It's time. It's time.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Bobbie's House**
    
    BOBBIE: Come in.
    
    HUTCH: I have to talk to you.
    
    BOBBIE: Well, is something the matter?
    
    HUTCH: Sit down. Sit down. Do you wear glasses?
    
    BOBBIE: Well, yes. I wear them--
    
    HUTCH: Just sit down here.
    
    BOBBIE: I wear them for reading. I'm-- I'm a little farsighted.
    
    HUTCH: Put them on.
    
    BOBBIE: Well--
    
    HUTCH: Put 'em on.
    
    BOBBIE: I just wear them for reading. What?
    
    HUTCH: Where were you the nights of the murders?
    
    BOBBIE: I was at St. Matthew's Cathedral on, uh, Fourth. I go there every night for Mass. 
    
    HUTCH: Until what time?
    
    BOBBIE: I come home about 11. Why?
    
    HUTCH: How do you and your sister, Monique, get along?
    
    BOBBIE: We used to be very close, but she's changed, so it's hard--
    
    HUTCH: Do you approve of her lifestyle?
    
    BOBBIE: No, I don't.
    
    HUTCH: Jealous?
    
    BOBBIE: No, I've never been jealous-- 
    
    HUTCH: Out with a different guy every night. 
    
    BOBBIE: She can't help it, it's a sick--
    
    HUTCH: Sexy, beautiful, free-loving redhead.
    
    BOBBIE: It's not free. She pays plenty for her sins. And she's not a redhead. That's me. Do you think that I could--?
    
    HUTCH: What do you mean she's not a redhead?
    
    BOBBIE: It's a wig. She-- She's a brunette, just like I am. Do you think that I--? I'm a respectable person. How can you think that I could possibly do a thing like that? Everybody knows me. I mean--
    
    BOBBIE: Monique.
    
    HUTCH: What's her number? What--? W-what's her number?
    
    BOBBIE: Eh-- It--
    
    HUTCH: Where's her number?
    
    BOBBIE: It's in the desk.
    
    HUTCH: I have to get over there.
    
    BOBBIE: I'm-- I'm going to come with you.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Travers' House**
    
    ASHFORD: You. You. You! You! Ah! Ahh! You! You! You!
    
    HUTCH: Monique!
    
    TRAVERS: Ahhh! You. You. You. You.
    
    STARSKY: Monique.
    
    TRAVERS: You. You.
    
    STARSKY: She put something in my tea.
    
    TRAVERS: You. You! You! You. You. You. You. Is Harry gone? Why does he hate me so much? He's gotta leave me alone. He's gotta leave me alone.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Park**
    
    STARSKY: Question.
    
    HUTCH: Shoot.
    
    STARSKY: What are we doing here?
    
    HUGGY: Having a picnic.
    
    STARSKY: I can see that. The question is why.
    
    HUTCH: Well, because it's probably the safest place for you.
    
    STARSKY: Come again?
    
    HUTCH: I mean, what can happen to you in a park, huh? 
    
    HUGGY: Yeah, no cars, no poisonings, no buildings falling on your head. The sun shining, the grass smelling sweet. Starsk, you might even get a tan. 
    
    HUTCH: Careful you don't get sunburned.
    
    STARSKY: Look, I appreciate the extent to which you guys are going to look out for my welfare, my well-being, but I do happen to be a mature adult.
    
    HUTCH: Starsky, I can also appreciate--
    
    STARSKY: I don't need--
    
    HUTCH: I can also appreciate your sensitivity to this whole thing, but I'll tell you, you cannot fight scientific fact.
    
    STARSKY: Scientific Fact. You know what your problem is? You believe all this malarkey.
    
    HUTCH: It's not malarkey, Starsky. Your bio-rhythms are still in the triple-zero phase. Until this whole thing is over, you're a walking disaster.
    
    STARSKY: Will you stop this please?
    
    HUTCH: You're accident-prone.
    
    STARSKY: What?
    
    HUTCH: Accident-prone.
    
    HUGGY: Starsk, you got it? Here.
    
    STARSKY: I got it. 
    
    HUTCH: Don't. 
    
    STARSKY: I got it.
    
    HUGGY: Don't antagonize it.
    
    STARSKY: Wait a second.
    
    HUTCH: Are you sure? 
    
    STARSKY: I'll get it. Yeah. It's my leg.
    
    HUTCH: Easy.
    
    STARSKY: I got it. Ahhhh!
    
    END
    
    


End file.
